6/10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew I wasn’t getting myself into some sort of Grand Slam Moment if I’m gonna go to the theater to watch Thor 2, but fuck it, I like comic book movies and seeing Chris Hemsworth shirtless. If you’ve seen any comic movie/Hollywood movie then you pretty much know what’s gonna happen, but I’ll condense it down for you anyway.

THOR takes his hammer, beats a bunch of muthafuckas up. One girl wants to sex him. He says, “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” (But way more diplomatically and non-verbally in the way guys usually do when they want nothing to do with a girl) HIS HEART BELONGS TO PORTMAN! FOOLISH WOMAN! Anyway, so there’s some other shit and some DARK ELVES and some Loki action (always welcome) and then other stuff happens and then there’s an orgy with Thor, Loki, Anthony Hopkins, and Stringer Bell. It’s awesome. I think. I’m a little fuzzy on the details, but I’m pretty sure it’s in there. ALL IN ALL, not a terrible superhero movie, also not one of the best. Bonus points for having the opening fight against a crowd of seemingly primitive people and then one of them busts out a mutha fuckin’ rocket launcher.

“Yeah, so I know how you guys all like to fight with, like hammers and swords and shit… Yeah… well I brought a rocket launcher…Soo… you don’t mind if I use it, right? Thaaaaaaanksss”