Month: June 2014

It’s Time To Restore Your Faith in the Cinema Gods – Watch ‘Hausu’

Nine out of ten critics agree, including a flying ass-biting head is necessary for a great movie.

Cinematic burnout. No one is safe from it. There you are with your feet up on your desk, comfy chair underneath your butt, a bowl of thinly sliced apples, and a laptop chock full of delightful movies to watch – but you just can’t seem to find one that interests you in that moment. Cinematic burnout. It can happen to the best of us and it is most definitely a “First World Problem.”

Bonnaroo 2014’s Five Least Attended Acts: Which Ones Were Worth Attending?

Meghan Tonjes performs at Bonnaroo on June 15, 2014.

While most music lovers head to Bonnaroo due to the pull of the main stage acts, the more intrepid concertgoers know to check out some of the small stages in search of promising lesser-known artists. Before the masses headed down to Manchester, Tenn. this weekend, the official Bonnaroo festival app allowed users to “check in” to performances ahead of time, in order to announce their music-watching intentions and see which performers were the “most scheduled” of the weekend. Not surprisingly, headliners Elton John, Kanye West and Jack White were among the most scheduled artists of this year’s fest, with over 20,000 checking in to each main stage extravaganza. But what about the “least scheduled” artists — those scrappy groups playing to crowds that statistics indicated were going to be tiny? Who were these artists out of the 300 listed performers at Bonnaroo, why were they the least scheduled, and did they deserve to have less than 100 people “check in” to their shows?

Crazy Sports Fans Of The World: I Understand You

The look of a man who no longer has sex with Angelina Jolie.

It’s interesting to me to watch a sports film like Friday Night Lights and get a glimpse into a world completely different from my own. In this world, people actually care about sports. We’re not talking about the kind of caring that causes someone to watch a few sports games per season or to know the difference between a quarterback and a point guard or anything relatively minor like that. No, the people who are watching the football games in Friday Night Lights are obsessed to the point where I can only assume there is some kind of chemical imbalance in their heads.

If You Would Like To Tell Me About Your Religion, I’ll Tell You About Mine

There is a proportional relationship between craziness and beard length.

I visited Toronto this past Memorial Day weekend and had a lovely conversation with a beautiful woman. (Aren’t good conversations just a little bit better when the other party is easy on the eyes?) We covered numerous topics, but perhaps the most important was a brief exchange of information about her religion and mine. And as I gazed into her cavernous eyes, the color of which my mind has, sadly, already forgotten, my mind danced with the promise of that which would not be.