Frances Ha (2012)

9.5/10 – Grilled Seal of Approval


Truly the kind of film you want to live inside, with the people you want to know, and doing things you want to do. Greta Gerwig is excellent excellent excellent. The whole cast is excellent. Adam Driver is becoming reliably excellent. Noah Baumbach is becoming one of my favorite directors. Ooooooooh. And also, on this day (which is actually the 14th not the 6th as I am still trying to catch up), on this day – my FIRST OFFICIAL PAYING ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED. So, fuck yeah! Dreams of Brooklyn nights and skyscapers and hobos huddling together in the cold and stepping carefully through half thawed pools of sludgy sludge ice and snow and salt and grime mixture and the wind whipping down through the long corridors of my buildings, up my coat, through my hair and back into the sky like a hawk flitting through the air after a kill. Brooklynnnnn. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, Brooooooooooooklyn stand up! When I move you move (just like that?), when I move you move (just like that?), when I move you move (just like that?) hell yeah mutha fucka now bring that ass back!

So, New York. Incoming. The goal was to move in March. March is 1.5 months from now. Is this goal possible? Is it an economically feasible decision? Are goats incredible lovers? Whoa whoa where the fuck did that come from? Now, I’m pretty sure I can answer at least one of those questions, but I’m going to be the gentleman and not reveal which one. Okay, it’s the goat question and actually no, contrary to popular belief they aren’t. Goats are definitely on mediocre side of the whole Great Animal Fucking Scale.


Also, this movie is really, really, really good. I quite enjoyed it. Now if I was the kind of person who downloads movies, NOT SAYING I AM – but if I was – WHICH I’M NOT MPAA – but if we have to imagine I was for just a second – BIG IMAGINATION BIG IMAGINATION TIME – then we could say that this is a film that I will keep on my hard drive because I think it is That Good and That Worthy of perhaps a second semi-recent viewing and/or (more likely) a viewing with a female of the feminine persuasion. Like a woman. If I want to watch a movie with a woman. That’s what I’m talking about. Now if you must know the other movies I have on my hard drive that I have already seen (PURELY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION HERE) they are as follows:

56 Up – God damn, simply a movie everyone everyone everyone and everyone should see. You can read about my thoughts here .

Lawrence of Arabia – One of my all-time favs, one of the greatest films ever made, one of the most beautifully filmed pieces of art… I love this movie so much that it remains (HYPOTHETICALLY) on my hard drive even though I own the DVD and it currently lays about three feet from my desk. There’s always a chance that I will go somewhere and not have my disc and someone will want to watch a four hour fucking awesome film! It’s a small chance, but a chance nonetheless!

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind – Aww great, great Miyazaki movie. And yet! It is my second favorite Miyazaki and NOT the one that I have elegantly splayed across my chest (tattoo!). Very interesting seeing as I don’t have Princess Mononoke  (my numero uno) on my el computado…

Tokyo Fist – Awesome. Awesome movie. I watched it twice in about two days (rare!) which is a (very rare!) very rare occurrence for me. Check out my thoughts about director/auteur Tsukamoto here!

City of God – Fucking great movie, and I really, really, really want to see it again, but who has the time?!? There are just too many amazing fucking movies to watch!! But it shall (HYPOTHETICALLY) remain on my hard drive in case I have the opportunity to watch it with someone.

And last but not least…

Profit – I love Profit. This is the most fucked up television show ever. EEEEVVVERRR. I challenge you to come up with a show more fucked up than this one. And someday, someday I will meet someone who has heard about or maybe even watched or maybe, just maybe LOVES Profit, and that will be a great day. Read about Profit heeeeere!

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