Stories

Limitless (2011)

7/10

Yes, I know I know I know. Normally I would not be caught dead watching a fucking movie like Limitless. I reserve my “bad movies” to things that have Arnie or Sly or are reaaallly stupid, but I was researching films for my drug article. So, I needed to watch Limitless. And actually it’s not all that bad.

I am surprised. It entertained me. It surpassed expectations. It really was a breath of fresh air. It truly allowed me to experience a different experience. Sometimes, I’ll cry when I look back and realize I won’t be able to see this film for the first time again. One day I’ll kill myself and my last thought will be of Limitless. Before I go I’ll hack into the mainframe and send a copy of Limitless to the owner of every computer in the world. Because it has to be done. Earth must see Limitless.

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Jus’ Some Fools, Thas’ All

These people got no idea who they’re dealing with. There’s a madman in front of them, and they’re too stupid to recognize they’re tap dancing on the edge of a cliff. And there’s a big gust of wind that’s comin’ to blow them right off the edge.

I can tell Charlie’s starting to lose it. He’s got that distant look in his eyes as though he’s watching a movie from all the way in the back of the theater, and he’s been drooling and doing those weird head twitches too. It won’t be long now. He enjoys this shit. He likes the crazy act, the retard act, it’s all fine to him – any which way just to make them put their guard down. And when they do, it’s all over. I’ve seen it before. The guy’s a fucking mental case.

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Fast Times At Dominick’s High (School)

As a ghost, I spent most of my time haunting the hallways and flitting between cliques with enough frequency that none would ever be able to accurately recall if I was there or not, so I was ecstatic to reach my fourth year of high school – senior year – when I would only be required to attend a half days worth of classes before I would be allowed to run, jump, and skip down the hallway and out the door to the parking lot and to my car and into it and out and away from that fucking waste of a place that occupied less of my mind while I attended than it does now.

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For the Users, Abusers, and Ruers

For all of the modern gunslingers and ne’er-do-well’s who can’t seem to take a step forward without one step back or maybe even two or three or the entire continent or further, we salute you. In all of our unconnected personal journeys for success or simple ambivalence, there remain those select few who remain rocking back and forth back and forth squarely on the bottom rung of the ladder, unable to raise themselves up and out of the muck and unable to allow themselves a chance at inhabiting any realm apart from the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the shit.

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Summer Trip

It’s summer and I’ve just finished cutting the grass and I’m lying on my back with my sunglasses on wearing my ripped checkered stained shorts I always wear when I do lawn work and no shirt and a bunch of tan lines that represent I’ve spent the summer working outside for prolonged moments during the hottest points of the summertime day.

I could dive into the sky and the blue would barely register a ripple, but today I’m content to gaze up and into its expanse and wonder when the whole thing will come crashing down upon me. I grow smaller or the blades of the grass grow taller and I find myself sinking deep into my lawn – the stalks rise like a forest of green Greek pillars and I tumble further and further into their embrace.

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Dallas Buyers Club (2013)

9.5/10 – Grilled Seal of Approval

The culmination of the McConaissance and the reason he will soon be walking home with a shiny new golden man for his mantel. Well, it’s probably unlikely that he will be walking home, I have to imagine he owns a car or has the money to purchase a ride in a taxi or has the willingness to slum it in a bus or has the number of a man who will pick him up and carry him wherever he wants to go.

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Julie the Fortune Teller

I had a few interactions with death during my time abroad. One Cambodian friend was drunk and drove his dirtbike into a wall. An expat I knew in Cambodia succumbed one day to his many ailments. Everyday he had come to the bar at 6am, sat in the exact same spot, took out his book for the day, and then drank and smoked until nightfall. Every single day. I’m told he had been holding this schedule for the past five years. The day came when he wasn’t there for the opening shift of the bar. We knew what had happened, and we left his spot at the bar open for him.

And then there was Julie.

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Gotta Eat (Feed Me, Feed Me)

Damn, I’m hungry. Not hungry in a philosophical sense for a life of greater purpose or in a psychological sense for increased cognizance (Well, I am hungry for those, just that’s not what is occupying my mind at the moment), but the simple hunger that comes from not having food in your belly.

My family has a notorious reputation of unhappiness and temper tantrums when we don’t eat. It gets ugly, you wouldn’t want to see it. Tears are shed, plates are broken, blood is drunken, you know how it goes.

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Waiting at the DMV

“I’m trying to write a story about a guy that goes to a holiday music show and then – BAM – he suddenly knows everything about everyone in the crowd, like all these intimate details from everyone around him.”

“What’s the holiday?”

“What’s the holiday? I mean it’s a holiday show, around now, wintery stuff, so it’s Christmas. But it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s just a concert. Could be any holiday.”

“Of course it matters, I gotta know the scene, the place, the smells, the people, the clothes, man I gotta breathe it all in – so Christmas, yeah?”

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Two Puddles

She’s staring at me with two great puddles of hope. Blue oval oceans with a tide that constantly threatens to overflow the shore and rain down upon those comely cheeks, flawless skin, and pointed chin before dripping into a pool beneath the shadow of her visage. I want to help her, but I can’t. I want to say, “No,” but I can’t. I want to leave, but I can’t.

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