So, I have begun looking at some of the messages that were sent to my bizarre sexual deviant fake OkCupid profile.
They are glorious.
If only Jesse was real, she could make a great many strange men very, very happy.
These shall be presented in their unedited form, of course.
Names concealed to protect the “innocent.”
“I am blinded that I couldn’t see myself with anyone else, I saw your profile and I thought wow I am attracted at first sight”
— Ooo profound. I wonder if this kind of copy/paste statement actually works on girls?
Alright folks. I know you’ve been eagerly refreshing GrilledLife in hopes of seeing the next installment of my OkCupid experiment.
I have decided not to throw the complete profile up here. Just for the sake of time and effort I will pick out a selection of the best “bits” and use them. But, of course, if I receive a deluge of requests I will upload everything.
And after about 48 hours my message received count has slowed to a paltry, paltry 64.
So, without further ado, I present the most twisted perverse deviant living in Brooklyn, Jesse:
Holy Jesus Moses Abraham Mother of Mohammad Ganesha and The Seven Dwarves.
This shit just got real.
Alright. As a matter of full disclosure, I am about to blow your fucking mind here. (Well, maybe not if you’ve been following my blog/reviews/mental vomitings for a while now.)
‘Cause dis shit just got REAL.
I added some new edits to my OkCupid profile yesterday. There’s a constant ebb and flow between presenting myself in a manner that would be appealing for “normal” people and diving headfirst into some of my more unusual characteristics and mannerisms that signify I am unsuitable relationship material for most of the globe. And therein lies the rub: Do you display your freak flag proudly? Do you string it up the flagpole, pour gasoline throughout the fairgrounds, and then immolate the land as a beacon to individuality? Freaks attract freaks and weird follows weird and if I am looking for a relationship, shouldn’t I be wearing my honesty like I do my favorite pants – daily, through every holiday and every season, and regardless of stains or clumps of dirt or affinity to attract the snaring hook of a drawer or a corner of a desk?
There’s something delightfully phony about the entire online dating thing, Facebook, and basically social media in general. The fact that we are making profiles that purport to represent our true selves is a fallacy in and of itself. How can we trust the opinion of someone who is creating their own public persona? Clearly there is a conflict of interest here between a truthful representation and making sure to only highlight specific and enviable aspects of a globe-trotting migrant cosmopolitan lifestyle. *Ahem* Cough. Cough.